Moonfall (2022) Review

Moonfall (2022)

Moonfall follows disgraced former astronaut Brian Harper, who teams up with his former partner and a crockpot conspiracy theorist in a mission to the moon after an alien A.I. has shifted the moon out of orbit, in a crash course for Earth. 

Can you believe that this guy did Independence Day?? Often times with movies like these, I request (more like demand) that you just turn your brain off and enjoy the ride. With Moonfall however (which is as dumb a concept as it sounds), that’s just not possible because not only is it the stupidest piece of popcorn garbage I’ve probably ever seen, but it’s also hardly a good time, just a clusterfuck of awful ideas, sloppy dialogue, and exceptionally bad acting. So much time is spent introducing unnecessary exposition and  mind bogglingly pointless sub-plots, that by the time we get to the moon actually falling, the movie’s already mostly over. It’s akin to the human elements in a Godzilla movie, except with this Emmerich feeds us random shit like car chases and bargaining to get a kid out of jail as side stories WHILE THE EARTH IS ENDING. 

Now, while it’s far from a redeeming quality, the bits in space actually aren’t bad, even a little fun, as Harper, Jocinda, and the unbelievably annoying K.C. “Megastructure” Houseman zoom around, uncovering the ridiculous truth behind the moon and the A.I. that seek to destroy it and with it, all of human life. Is it corny? God yes. But fun nevertheless, especially compared to the silly events going down on Earth. 

To add insult to injury, we get a shockingly underwhelming cast, starring Carolina Bartczak, Eme Ikwuakor, Kelly Yu, Charlie Plummer, Halle Berry, John Bradley, and Patrick Wilson. Wilson and Berry continue their career-long efforts at being great actors in awful movies, though even their efforts are a bit unmotivated in this. Bradley, for as much as he tries however, is unbearable and aside from sticking out like a sore thumb, is just rightly annoyingly. 

Moonfall, directed by Roland Emmerich, is a far fall from grace from the mind behind Stargate and Independence Day, with this latest effort just an uninspired and ridiculous  clusterfuck that is even worse than it sounds on paper, and it sounds real bad on paper. 

2.9/10