Conan the Barbarian (1982) Review



Conan the Barbarian (1982)

Conan the Barbarian follows Conan, who after the slaying of his parents, is sold into slavery, where he would patiently wait and train for the day he would seek out his revenge against Thulsa Doom. 


2 years before he would don the leather jacket in search for Sarah Conner, it was Conan the Barbarian that put Arnold Schwarzenegger on the map for good. A riveting tale of revenge, lineage, and destiny, Conan would be one of the many films that would forever shape me as a young child. Director John Milius’ direction cannot be stated enough here. His ability to bring chills through such emotional and thematic realism is beyond belief, demanding for a film that could’ve been unbelievably campy to take itself serious, uncompromisingly instilling a warrior-ethos to this film that would certainly inspire a generation warrior-like men (namely body builders). This in addition to Basil Poledouris’ pulsing score, an inspirational battle cry for the whole film (which could quite literally prompt anyone to immediately charge through a brick wall), something sorely missed in movies of today. 


Of course, it’s Conan’s Christ-like story of death and rebirth, metaphorically and physically, which makes his tale resonate the most. His family slaughtered in front of him, sold into slavery, builds his way back up to find a new family, only to be crucified and brought back to life, stronger, more determined, and seeking nothing but revenge on Doom. It’s beautiful, in the most barbaric ways, culminating in one of the single best beheading scenes, likely ever. 


Conan features a stellar cast as well, starring Cassandra Gava, ValĂ©rie Quennessen, Max von Sydow, Mako, Ben Davidson, Sven-Ole Thorsen, Gerry Lopez, Sandahl Bergman, James Earl Jones, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Schwarzenegger is and always will be Conan to me. The physicality, the look, along with his demeanor, it all makes for such a larger than life character full of resentment and rage that when put up against the likes of Jones, who is already larger than life (he’s Vader for christ sake), makes for such a fascinating story of revenge. 


Conan the Barbarian, directed by John Milius, is a sword and sorcery fantasy that tells so much with so few words. A philosophical epic of sorts, in that Conan is a character created by hardship and grief, whose religion is steel, knowing no bounds till his revenge is sought for the slaying of his parents. 


7.7/10

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